OK, now it’s getting a little weird for me around here at the moment. Strange things are happening and I’m not sure exactly why?

My neighbor has serious issues when it comes to the handling of his own dog. I’ve talked about one particular issue here in the past which was quite an event – a somewhat scary one! Since then though I don’t think Goldie, the neighbor’s dog, really goes home at all now….and once more the neighbors don’t seem too fussed by it??? I mean the little bugger DID USED to go back “home” about once a day – around dinner time – but nowadays he doesn’t seem to be too interested in doing that at all now?

The thing that puzzles me the most is if he doesn’t go home to eat, then what the heck DOES he eat? Just my table scraps and the occasional handful of uncooked pasta (henceforth known as “Crunchy Puppy Treats”). The fact that he doesn’t seem to go home at all now just kinda guilts me out a bit when it comes to feeding my own dog, Gus. For the first time in seven years of living here I’m now feeding Goldie and giving him a very small portion of dry dog food every time I feed Gus. It’s like I’ve done the EXACT OPPOSITE of what my neighbor wanted me to do.

Likewise the Neighbor is now doing the exact opposite of what I want him to do! The weird thing is that I have no idea why he’s doing it?

It all started last year sometime when Amy and I were out somewhere. We may have been staying at my parents house for the weekend? I can’t quite remember now? Anyhow, when we came home we pulled into the driveway. I use the term “driveway” quite loosely as it’s nothing more than a deeply rutted hell hole of track leading up the hill to the house. There’s actually two of them in fact – one along the side of the small pine plantation cum forgotten Christmas Tree Farm and one trail leading up through the middle of it. For some reason – either superstition or habit – I use the track that goes through the pines as the “up” trail and the one that goes alongside the pines as the “down” trail.

So we’re about to go up through the pines on our way to the house. I round the bend of the track ready to start the ascent and, lo and behold, there’s a GREAT BIG PILE OF FRIGGIN DIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TRACK!! I hit it and the wheels of the car just start spinning cause they can’t get any grip at all. I’m cussing and swearing like a MoFo until eventually they do grab and I’m able to get through the stuff and continue on. Further up the hill there’s another huge TURD DROP of dirt and this time there’s NO FRIGGIN WAY I’m gonna get through it. No way at all!

So then I have to put the car in neutral and carefully roll it right back down to the bottom so that I can then try and get up to the house using the DOWN trail! Thankfully though there wasn’t any piles of dirt on the other track and we were able to get up to the house.

So it left us with three questions – Who, How and Why? What the hell were piles of muddy dirt left in the trail in the first place? Was it the “horsey” people – as in the people who keep their horses on the property and help keep the grass down? That didn’t make much sense at all as I’m not even sure any of them use that track anyway? Nope, the only LOGICAL answers seemed to be either the wood fairies or the neighbors! Well, maybe the wood fairies aren’t that logical now that I think about it. That still leaves the neighbors though!

The next day saw me getting in the car and doing “circles” up and down the two tracks, trying to flatten out and even up the two huge piles of dirt so that we would be able to use the “up” trail again. Of course to do this properly I had to go DOWN the “up” trail and UP the “down” trail until things were relatively flattened out. I mean, hell, using the car was quicker and easier than trying to use shovels and spades and rakes! The scary thing though was that it was raining at the time and the car was only feet away from ending up in one of the trees.

It should be said though that even though I can’t be sure that it was the neighbors who’d left the turds there it seemed like a fair bet. I still don’t really know why though?

OK, so this week IT HAPPENS AGAIN! This time I see it and it IS the neighbour! He’s out there with his truck and a trailer full of topsoil and he’s doing it again. What I want to know is, firstly, WHY and, secondly, WHY THE HELL DO IT WHEN IT’S WINTER AND THE WHOLE TRAIL IS TWO BALLSACK HAIRS AWAY FROM BEING A SLIPPERY SLIDEY SLIMY TRAIL OF DEATH ANYWAY!! I mean SHEESE PEOPLE! Think!

The thing is that both of the trails are so deeply rutted and screwed up that a lot of the dirt will just wash down with the first rain anyway? If it’s his intention to fix MY DRIVEWAY????? then why not do the job properly, instead of the half-assed job that he did do? I mean flatten it out for instance….There’s a suggestion!

I’m not gonna go over there and ask why he did it cause the guy is a psychopath! I’ll just get out in the car over the next day or so and do my best to try and “steam roller” the track back down so that it can at least be useful. Sheese!! I mean first he’s telling me off for NOT throwing rocks at HIS dog and now he’s DECIDED that he’s JUST GOT TO fix my driveway for me? What the hell??????

Stupid DUMBASS!

This entry was posted on Friday, June 17th, 2005 at 10:38 pm and is filed under Home, People Observation, Pets. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.