Just thought I’d see what I’d be like if I was made into a South Park character – albeit more of a “Cartman sized” super plus model :). If anyone out there wants to create their own South Park character then simply go to the “Create your own South Park character” website and get cracking!

Found this the other day and thought it was rather topical to put up here. Apparently it’s been floating around the internet for a while, and I don’t know if any of these are true or not , but they are quite funny.

Apparently after every flight, Qantas Airline pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’ pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident apparently.

(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 27th, 2005 at 4:45 pm and is filed under The Web. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.